10 days of Silence.
Wow. Vipassana - what a unique experience. This year I felt a deep call to heal and reconnect with what life is about for me. Since my parents divorced when I was 14, I’ve been seeking a family to call my own. Twenty-five years on, this wanderlust woman has found her people.
My ten days in the Hereford countryside are hard to capture in one post, but condensing the moments feels useful - not just to remember, but to share the grit and grace it takes (and maybe inspire you to step into silence, too). What a privilege.
In this space you are unplugged from what you may class as normality. Your phone is locked away, no books, devices or writing equipment is permitted and for the next 10 days you make a promise to hold Noble Silence. Bear in mind you are with 50 other women (I was sharing a room too!).
Your alarm is set for 4am on the first morning and your meditation begins. Straight into 10 hours per day. This is not for the faint hearted or weak willed. This is for the person who is ready to dig deep and listen to their heart.
My time here felt like a rollercoaster, some days it would feel like a breeze, the excitement of hearing everything in my mind with clarity and allowing space for the noise to rise and fall was beautiful. The unpicking began and I released old patterns and learned behaviours that I could feel had held me back over the years.
A closure of the babies that chose not to arrive earth side this year, and a connection to myself that its rare and solidifying arose. The acceptance of patterns. The unpicking of family strains. Wow. Epic. My energy started to shift and I could feel it all moving.
As I write, I have realised this is the first documentation I have noted since being able to put pen to paper (for an avid journaller, this feels crazy).
I loved the silence, I loved the way 50 women learned a new way to communicate. There was no eye contact, no smiles, no gestures or physical touch during this stay and to say we navigated holding doors open, taking showers and eating together, with an air of genuine respect will be something that stays with me forever.
I was blessed with a beautiful roomie, quiet as a mouse she moved around our space. On the moments where I felt like I wanted to come home (which rose around day 6!) I would think of her. I wouldn’t be able to communicate to her that I was ok - that I just had a longing to be back in luxury with Jules and the doggo. So I do believe that having her there saved me from getting in my own way.
The food was incredible, every day a new homemade dish and even apple crumble and chocolate brownie to raise my spirits. Everything was Vegetarian and although you have breakfast, lunch and an afternoon tea of fruit, it was more than enough. In fact, I have been inspired to cook more since coming home. New dishes have entered our house, to the point where Jules is convinced I’ve been away on a cooking course! Yum, I love filling our bellies with nourishing goodness. The dream on our farm is to create a veggie patch and hens to lay our eggs. Manifestation has begun.
I found solace in the forest for my daily rest and downloads, after strong sittings of determination, you would find me lapping the woodland. I began to notice the real beauty of the earth and of the sky, of the nature that live inside and the small elements that in my every day hustle I would have missed.
My learnings from this time with great perspective:
- I have a deep sense of belief that I can achieve anything I set my mind to.
- We only know what we have been shown by our parents or learned along the way. Be soft with yourself and your heart.
- I have found what I have been seeking my whole life - A beautiful family to call my own.
- Acceptance - of myself, of others and of the beautiful world around me.
- A heart full of gratitude.
- I believe in setting the standard toward being the best human that I can be.
I believe we can stretch ourselves further than we know possible and in doing so you activate a new part of you that didn’t exist before. I hope this inspires you to show up for yourself over and over again. That you gain clarity on who you are, and why you are the way you are. A strong belief that you can change your mindset and grow from the inside out is available to you too.
I would love to hear your stories if you have been or answer any questions you may have on your road to Noble Silence.
A time and space in my life that I will remember forever, at one with my breath and my body. Beautiful.
For now, always remember you are here for a reason and you are enough.
My love as always
Jess x
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